idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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