You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
