you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
