4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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