OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
