"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize