where does the pee come out of this thing
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
