i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
