i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
