so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
