i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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