that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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