I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
