I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
