Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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