My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
