Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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