i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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