the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
