singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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