Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
