you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
