You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
