bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
