Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
