this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Drake has all the answers
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
