Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
