it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
