Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
