My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
