there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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