He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
