I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
