She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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