would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
