dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
