if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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