i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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