my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
