She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
