I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
