Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
