hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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