i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
