So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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