And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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