so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
