so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize