Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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