tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
