matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She just used a chaser for red wine.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
