Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
