THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
