they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
