Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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