haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
