I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
