then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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