that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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