Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
