I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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