ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
