What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
