I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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