I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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