Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize