I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
